Being a Movie buff, there are four characters close to my Heart!!
Ajay Devgan from Govind Nihalani directed 'Takshak', who conveys Tabu Honestly that he has unknowingly committed a murder. He is telling her because from her only he could draw this strength to speak Truth. The way he tells to Tabu made me to fall in love with character and Honesty too.
Another one is Zakir Hussain (the Great Tabala player) from Sai Paranjape's film 'Saaz', he proposes Shabana both in their fifties that 'He loves her, even if she would have been a flower, wall, sky or anything, he would have loved her equally.' Again with the shear simplicity that Zakir has said it makes you adore him.
Another superb one is by Ajay from Maniratnam directed 'Yuva', where Ajay says to Esha, 'Yeh pyaar-vyar kuchh nahi hota hai. Yeh sab X-Y chromosome ka khel hain. Mujhe jhel sakati ho to aa jao'. It could be as plain and logical as it could be. It sounds very non-romantic but it is very true!!
My recent favourite has been Saif from 'Tara Rum Pum'. He is superb father. i wish i could be playing that role..
Monday, September 3, 2007
Friday, June 1, 2007
My year spent in Pradan
Days of DAship
I was born genius, education ruined me. And then I decided to be de-educated, of course to be as I was born. Somewhere around second year of my chemical engineering, I realized that I have spirit also along with my brain, which was incessantly busy in just attempting good marks. Although I liked chemical engineering a lot, I wanted to utilize those skills for the benefit of many directly. Oblivious of how to practice my wish, preferred to do an engineering job. Then arrived at a choice of joining an NGO. Applied to various NGOs, but they wanted candidates with sociological background. Then a friend from IRMA suggested me about Pradan. I applied through internet but was quiet hesitant about the reply due to past experiences. When I got through, I realized that Pradan reaches not only in villages but in cites as good as Mumbai also.
Need of DA ship:
I spent first year as a Development Apprentice (DA). Out of which first three months was a reality check, a time to make choice whether am I really fit for this kind of work. Then a home visit to reflect on my choice of continuing with the profession. And last 8 months where a work area is allotted, where one is expected to learn by doing, actually having the first hand experience. For almost 6 months I did nothing significant but a Village study. I wondered why this much time is allotted just for learning without direct responsibility. Later realized this process has been useful in actually grounding my kite-flying ideas about development. Sitting in a distant place everybody has ample amount of ideas how the country should be run. I am no exception. With full of such romantic plans I entered in Pradan. I was looking up and working at ground, a contrasting situation. The initial months of DA ship helped me to lower my neck with guidance from Field Guide (FG) and my team-mates.
I remember my village stay in Khohra at Manturiyabai’s house. First three days I interacted with nobody except the family with whom I was staying. I used to shy away from approaching the neighbors. Villagers were very curious to know me, being from Mumbai, youngsters were very eager to know how films are being shot, how the romantic songs and scenes are filmed. I used to read book about rural India than actually conversing. The ice-break happened in a marriage, where I helped in cooking food, danced chitkor, tribal dance. I had taken assignment of knowing Income-expenditure of few families. After initial attempts I realized the importance of dialoging, asking open-ended questions to know more. I was very petrified and had spent a sleepless night once realizing I am not fit for the job. I can’t ask question, such a simple thing. I realized I have become assignment focused, as like in academic life and once manipulated data like I used to do in my engineering laboratory. Maybe sometime later when I actually got interested into the complete lifecycle of an individual rather than just income-expenditure, I became comfortable. I could complete my assignment and enjoyed my time spent. I remember once talking with few villagers at Shymvatibai’s house; I was ‘lecturing’ them why should they send their children into schools rather than sending them to collect mahua and feeding cattle. I repeated it thrice with a tone of superiority as if I am a graduate and know all the advantages of it. All were quiet and avoiding to look at me. I did not understand why they are behaving like this. Then Mangat bhayya, Shyamvatibai’s husband replied silently, “Bhayya, yaha khane ko thikse nahi milta, khetse saal bhar ka annaj pakata nahi. Kamane ke liye potli bandhke bahar jana padata hai. Pehle pet ka dikkat thik ho jaye phir padhai ke bare mein sochenge.” This incident has got embossed on my memory. I was zapped. Nothing taught me as sharply as this. I realized I can never say I know it all. If I deal with superiority with villagers, I could never reach to them. I will not enjoy and nor the relationship be fulfilling. Also this incident convinced the importance of Livelihoods. Why Roti, kapada, makaan are such a basic necessities.
I never used to understand why they call it Grass-root and not only grass but slowly realizing that one does not have to look at grass only but supposed to go to the root of it. The idealism, so called garam khoon of a lad who is just a college pass out thinks of bigger ideas like India, Bharat, garibi, corrupt bureaucracy, GDP, economy growth, almost whole system seems corrupt, inefficient. The event rate of happening seems intolerable. The educational background gives a dreamy confidence as if I have the solution of all the problems. All such macro-concepts propelled me to enter into the sector. I came with an idea to start a cooperative biodiesel plant! It is not that all this has been useless to think about. But time spent here made me realize that one has to wake and actually work to fulfill ideas. There is a huge gap between world of ideas and actualization of them for the simple seeming methods of agriculture. It demands lot of skills to successfully implement the ideas on ground. So many skills that many times I feel I, as a single individual, am unable to give complete the task. Then comes the importance of a team, members with varied background, skillsets, interests and emotional strengths.
In short a year long DAship is extremely necessary. The processes designed with various assignments, timely feedback from FG, team members helps professionals with varied educational background to attain minimum standards without hampering individuality. I feel it helps to bring in level the idealism of DAs from sociological background and grounding, sensitizing (feelings!) apparently dry practical ideas of other fields like engineering, management, agricultural. Some question why it is necessary to spend a year as an apprentice. It is necessary because unless the right frame of reference is developed however honest attempts might be, the efforts would be not be fulfilled and probably hamper the habits of community.
Reflection over process of grooming:
First phase of DAship is mostly explorative. No tasks are given; one can take the assignment according to one’s interest with the help of FG. That is the time of cultural shock. Especially in case of Pradan, unlike most of the NGO’s, graduates not only of sociological background but others are also recruited. When I ponder over my state of mind at that time, I am remembered of turmoil that I was undergoing. Its quiet challenging to shift gears. How an individual would feel, who has been brought in urban background, who was always in area where electricity is always available, who has been brought up in educational background where what matters above all is the end result; a university graduate who is expected to get a MNC job, take a four-wheeler next year and a 1BHK (one bed-room hall and kitchen) flat very next year, his middle-class parents would love to send his children to US and earn in dollars, whose other friends have got settled with their jobs and making plans to marry with longstanding girlfriend. However idealistic one may be, one has to answer these societal and self pressures.
Orientation Programme: Different way of knowledge transfer
Orientation program (OP) comprising of modules like Organisational orientation, Gender workshop, SHG workshop and village study workshop, a total 12 days program was special in its own way. I never realized in these days but now when I do membership trainings of new SHG’s I try to follow same module where the participants feel as if nobody taught me anything, I learned by discussion, from my colleagues with the topics/heads given by a fellow called facilitator. I used to wonder whats the job of this fellow called as facilitator here? In the contemporary education system, a concept of teacher is there, he is the authority, supposed to be the master of the subject. There subject used to remain within gamut of the syllabus. That approach demands replication, which impedes individuality and hence interest. The approach followed in the OP was very enjoyable in that way. I thought that time was just extension of our late night hostel chats, observed by stalwarts of developmental sector. To be honest, there was this superficial confidence, having seen life in the shell of engineering only, that engineers are the intelligent species on earth! But let me confess that I was among the pool of most interesting guys. We had good time not only in the room but outside too. Special mention of Gender, I would like to make here. Again being from non-sociological background, having never interacted with something like that, the topic raised lot of questions and uncomforts. ‘The Me’ in me was dazed. In organizational orientation we discussed on topic of Values. At that time I wondered why youngsters of 24 years old are asked to discuss on it. Whatever has to happen in terms of value addition, happened; why now? But slowly I am realizing the importance of it.
Village Study: The Best time I’ve had
In hindsight, when I think of the best period that I spent, I am remembered of one month village study in Bondri. It is so special for me probably because it anchored me; it gave me sufficient reasons to be meaningfully present here. I had my prejudices, which got polished and helped me to develop a right frame of reference. Obviously the affection showered by villagers was incredible. I interacted individually with 54 families. I realized people are same everywhere; whether it is city or village, whether they are descendants of rich or poor, whether they have large piece of land or be landless. We can’t categorise them, anything can happen what matters is the Spirit of life. I remember of meeting Patiyabai, Raimabai, Amu, Kamlesh, Imrat dada, Radhelal, Punnu. All were different in their own ways. Patiyabai was helpless in managing her large piece of land after her husband’s death. She was exploited financially by local strong people. I remember Raimabai with moist in her eyes told me one evening how is she managing her house comprising of large family and no land migration labour being the only source of livelihood. Amu sold his two bullocks in acute need 3 years ago just for Rs 5000, has been planning to take new pair since then but could not manage because of which his 3 acre land is lying underutilized making him entirely dependant on migration. Radhelal seemed like almost option less, no land, no bullocks, separated family, no proper house, ill wife, little kids. No income from land, due to family problems can’t go out so had to depend upon local labour, paying no more than Rs 30 per day; with no guarantee that tomorrow there will be work. I could not see slightest of hope in his eyes that tomorrow could be a bit better. Saten was 24 hours in the murkiness of alcohol made up of Mahua. Kamlesh, the enterprising man. He within his 30 years of life tried his hands at several occupations always learning out of something. While calculating with him I realized that Vegetable growing could earn handsome remuneration out of a small piece of land. I met L. N. Mittal aka Punnu, like him he brought buffaloes from villagers who couldn’t manage it and showed how beneficial dairy could be. Imrat dada increased his goat’s herd size from 1 to 25 and showed the profit out of Goat rearing. It put me in a question in spite of having so many successful examples of successful interventions like vegetable, dairy, goatery why don’t other people take it up. It was so frustrating for me to find out the answer. I havn’t yet got it but that’s the challenge I see ahead. How can these successful enterprises are multiplied.
After a village study, I presented it in a workshop which was followed by learning Participatory Research Appraisal (PRA) techniques in the field. When I was undergoing the workshop, I became conscious of the way we are expected to transform concepts form us to community. Later on I realized same is being followed by various training programs and team environment with DA’s. The method is hardly by way of lecture where the assimilation of concepts is always doubtful. I liked the attempts that are invested in actually implementing the participatory culture not only in community but in us as well. I like the integrity behind this spirit. Reading a book ‘Rural Development – Putting the last first’ by Robert Chambers was a poignant experience. It directed me towards my biases as an outsider. It made me cautious while dialoging and drawing conclusions from my exercises.
Second phase: Ballon is about to burst
The second phase of DAship is different from first phase. There is transformation from self-explorative to ‘Learning by Doing’. Again this transformation wasn’t smooth-sailing. I was handed over number of SHG’s and few farmers of mulberry. As part of project, I was to be involved in setting a new office, do membership training, do wheat intervention. Imagine, I know nothing about these. I expected a development worker would get engage in talking to people, knowing them, implementing new concepts without having to put in hands in boring tasks. For example: I had to talk with various vendors to purchase computer, furniture etc; had to interact with local lethargic telephone department, meet local dhabawallaha to cook food for membership training, arrange for water tanker. I am a person brought up in Mumbai who has never seen a crop in his 24 years of life. I was terrified to go to people and tell them about modified ways of wheat growing. I used to afraid of what if no seed germinates what if pest attack spoils the whole crop? How can I face people after that? This Doing was very troublesome initially. It required lot of planning, updating new skills, with continuation of personal dilemmas and family pressure. It was a very explosive state, I vividly remember. Sometimes I used to feel like running away rather than handling this pressure. Getting on to the grassroots from romanticism of development was a struggling time. I thought I will stay on pitch rather than taking any flimsy decision hurriedly. But when I received positive results out of my venture, then slowly things became enjoyable.
PAS: lifted the whistle of cooker
The Process Awareness and Sensitivity (PAS) was another interesting module happened. After that I learned to look at strengths of all around me. Now I don’t crib about others and also of my limitations. I energies myself by concentrating on my positive attributes. I make it a point to take help of others where I am weak. I am accepting myself and others without much expectation.
The Graduate: executing the projects
Now I have graduated as Executive (projects), working in a sublocation of project Kesla, Padhar. Certainly I am enjoying my stay here. I don’t know where my future holds but truly this one year has been a special for me. Personally it made me stronger, helped me to realize positive sides of mine. To which I used to romanticize as my strengths left me helpless in most demanding situations and something else came to my rescue, realizing Me in me, which is my goal. And professionally, by trial and error, I ventured into a profession which keeps me satisfied, a difficult status commonly observed. As work has taken it pace over me, I could sense the amount of work that is doable; many ideas remain untried just because there are no enough people to work. It’s a common perception out side that NGO’s need money, its true but what is more daunting than that is quality manpower, which is in scarcity. That puts me to a question why even after 24 years since inception Pradan is stuck with 250 odd professionals only?
Why outreach becomes out of reach?
When I think over this, I remember one executive said before resigning from Pradan. He said it is like a reverse drain for somebody who was brought up in urban area, having a professional degree which can make him earn a decent lifestyle, why would that person stay here with a lifestyle that demands many changes and less salary than market is offering otherwise. Maybe we are trying to create an ideal world having a real touch but not totally real. We are as if living in a shell, an organization having non-hierarchail culture, living with values like confrontation, integrity, support, and without any corruption or bureaucratic rules. Our organization does not fully obey the rules of the market, which is a stiff reality, however we romanticize it. It becomes more striking when we say professional assistance and recruit students with professional backgrounds like engineering, management or pure science. The students before joining barring an exception have very obvious ambitions like getting a good remunerative job and having good lifestyle. Absorbing a cultural shock here, adjusting oneself onto different set-up does create turmoil. One who finds her groove over this process stays and work happily. In general it is observed that people who come here and stay are majorly from middle class families. Their value system, upbringing, without a great dynastic past, zeal to prove themselves matches the raw material that is needed here. But their the catch lies, with these class comes these values and there comes the expectations from parents, relatives that this son/daughter of mine will change the course of history and bring some good dignified lifestyle to us. That’s the initial pressure that one has to bear at the entry level. I have seen my batch mates giving up on this pressure. Some amount of rebel alongwith soft negotiations are the important paraphernalia. We also have to make attempts to make them understand our work and dignity out of it.
Where are we tilted on scale of Gender balance?
We have very low number of women professionals. ( give data in terms of % )particularly for an organization, which has identified Gender and Governance as two issues that we will be working with SHG federations. By my personal experience, having women colleagues add patently different angle to our work. Girls who join are already less in numbers, whoever decides to stay have to face the acute parental pressure. There are examples of girls being taken back by parents from location. When one sees personal life in years to come issues like marriage, children’s education has to be deliberated upon. With or without having sorted these out few stays others leave.
Too many cooks yet a good food!
The peculiarity about us is that people from different academic backgrounds join here. For people from non-sociological background like engineering, agriculture, science, it is something totally that they see just out of college. As far as our core theme as Livelihoods and our non-activist approach does provide a comfort zone. We have to deal with technology may it be agriculture, poultry, tasar, mulberry, lac. All demands a sound technological knowledge to produce good results at ground. These hands on technological use for the direct benefit provide excitement to be here. On the other hand colleagues from sociological background, having got training and exposure are at a platform where issues like gender, governance, rights and entitlement are found a matter of prime interest. No doubt, both are important when clubbed together would lead to development in actual sense.
Our work demands us to be strongly equipped with the technological know-how and nitty-gritties of its implementation. That is why perhaps we are large in numbers of technocrats such as engineers, agriculturist or veterinarians. It is expected that we do the implementation taking care of the process by which it is done, covering both being and doing aspects. By individual different approaches, and pressure of targets doing is met but at times of acute pressures being part which is not written on paper or of which there are no benchmarks to show is compromised. Issues like Gender, governance, rights and entitlement can be exercised through SHG’s or specifically SHG federations, but there is no overall unique approach across locations about these. Whatever efforts happen are fragmented or due to lack of fool-proof system as of now are not widely reachable. That sometimes gives a very dry picture of our work. I wonder are these reasons why people from sociological background do not see themselves over a long time. One or two year that is spent here is seen as an on-job training giving additional tag in the biodata for next job. If the technocrats are not helped to realize the other moist side of development by sociologists then there is a danger of running dry on development. People from different background, both as a human being and professional competencies can give so much to each other. By my personal experience, we both need to learn different skills from each other to be complete as a development professional.
It would be interesting to know reasons of stay from people of different backgrounds. Personally speaking, it gives me joy to utilize my technical skills in choosing the best dryer that can reduce the drying time for mushroom and enhance the efficacy of final product,
Calculating the bund dimension using trigonometry, deciding the profit making package of practice of various crops in agricultural intervention, obviously with due importance to the process of technology transfer that I learned after being here. Working with SHG’s, which acts as a podium to express women, the oppressed class of the society, freely along with saving and credit activity. The strength that federation seizes in exercising one to one relationship with various government agencies also giving a spirit of unity among thousands of women members. Indulging in both technological (doing) and process parts (being) of our work gives a feeling of completeness. Each is enjoyable in its own way.
Swimming against the flow
Again coming back to original question, should we be comfortable that it’s very natural that people will come and leave as they have their own problems and reasons. Should we be comfortable with this almost constant number over number of years? I can be impractical in my analysis considering the limited time spent here, but when I muse over the attrition rate in the organization, there are two factors I realize strikingly. Monetary gains and societal pressure both are acting in our opposite direction.
Monetary gains are low than the open market offers considering the kind of professional degree that I have. I am playing different roles. I am somebody’s son, brother, grandson, husband, father, friend. Those roles demands deeds from me. I may not want to have a vehicle or own a house, other material gains. What if tomorrow serious illness strikes in the family, do I have sufficient resources to combat the incident. Any of these demands from anybody who is my close ally bothers me. I wonder why we can’t get good marketable salaries. That would atleast dampen these pressurizing factors and we can work without much worry. It would also give good status in society, to which it gives so much importance. I understand there is other side to this. If the salaries are increased then maybe those people would also get attracted who may not be committed towards the sector but come here just for a job, which it is not.
On larger scale there are three kinds of organization Government, private and NGO. If we compare NGO’s with the remaining in terms of gains, there is wide gap. Government jobs offer a security, prestige and pension. Private jobs pay well and offer fringe benefits. In comparison, NGO’s offers nothing from both. On other hand it demands a different lifestyle. Society looks it as something to be done after retirement. It is never seen as a vocation. Unfortunately, it is such a misfit. The expectations of a typical middle-class parents who wants to see their children ‘settle down’ with a good well earning job is not met. Marriage, increased expenses, children’s education, old-age of parents, their demands are some of the mid-life events that certainly create pressure. Society is an external environment, which is so diverse and gigantic that we could have no control over it. I am, who is academically trained as an engineer and working in this sector is either seen as a hero, a extra-ordinary person to be here or just opposite somebody who has just gone mad, unrealistic, idealistic. I am never rewarded or accepted as I am. It would be Herculean task to expect that the society would accept us, this sector with dignity or the naturalness that it deserves in near future. It would probably take centuries to see it happening.
As I am spending time, I am moving from one question to another. New challenges are emerging. Certainly a completely normal person can’t stay here, I am happy not to be one. Looking forward towards a meaningful journey. Hope differential equation of Vishal is solved with the limit of the abnormality tending towards infinity!
I was born genius, education ruined me. And then I decided to be de-educated, of course to be as I was born. Somewhere around second year of my chemical engineering, I realized that I have spirit also along with my brain, which was incessantly busy in just attempting good marks. Although I liked chemical engineering a lot, I wanted to utilize those skills for the benefit of many directly. Oblivious of how to practice my wish, preferred to do an engineering job. Then arrived at a choice of joining an NGO. Applied to various NGOs, but they wanted candidates with sociological background. Then a friend from IRMA suggested me about Pradan. I applied through internet but was quiet hesitant about the reply due to past experiences. When I got through, I realized that Pradan reaches not only in villages but in cites as good as Mumbai also.
Need of DA ship:
I spent first year as a Development Apprentice (DA). Out of which first three months was a reality check, a time to make choice whether am I really fit for this kind of work. Then a home visit to reflect on my choice of continuing with the profession. And last 8 months where a work area is allotted, where one is expected to learn by doing, actually having the first hand experience. For almost 6 months I did nothing significant but a Village study. I wondered why this much time is allotted just for learning without direct responsibility. Later realized this process has been useful in actually grounding my kite-flying ideas about development. Sitting in a distant place everybody has ample amount of ideas how the country should be run. I am no exception. With full of such romantic plans I entered in Pradan. I was looking up and working at ground, a contrasting situation. The initial months of DA ship helped me to lower my neck with guidance from Field Guide (FG) and my team-mates.
I remember my village stay in Khohra at Manturiyabai’s house. First three days I interacted with nobody except the family with whom I was staying. I used to shy away from approaching the neighbors. Villagers were very curious to know me, being from Mumbai, youngsters were very eager to know how films are being shot, how the romantic songs and scenes are filmed. I used to read book about rural India than actually conversing. The ice-break happened in a marriage, where I helped in cooking food, danced chitkor, tribal dance. I had taken assignment of knowing Income-expenditure of few families. After initial attempts I realized the importance of dialoging, asking open-ended questions to know more. I was very petrified and had spent a sleepless night once realizing I am not fit for the job. I can’t ask question, such a simple thing. I realized I have become assignment focused, as like in academic life and once manipulated data like I used to do in my engineering laboratory. Maybe sometime later when I actually got interested into the complete lifecycle of an individual rather than just income-expenditure, I became comfortable. I could complete my assignment and enjoyed my time spent. I remember once talking with few villagers at Shymvatibai’s house; I was ‘lecturing’ them why should they send their children into schools rather than sending them to collect mahua and feeding cattle. I repeated it thrice with a tone of superiority as if I am a graduate and know all the advantages of it. All were quiet and avoiding to look at me. I did not understand why they are behaving like this. Then Mangat bhayya, Shyamvatibai’s husband replied silently, “Bhayya, yaha khane ko thikse nahi milta, khetse saal bhar ka annaj pakata nahi. Kamane ke liye potli bandhke bahar jana padata hai. Pehle pet ka dikkat thik ho jaye phir padhai ke bare mein sochenge.” This incident has got embossed on my memory. I was zapped. Nothing taught me as sharply as this. I realized I can never say I know it all. If I deal with superiority with villagers, I could never reach to them. I will not enjoy and nor the relationship be fulfilling. Also this incident convinced the importance of Livelihoods. Why Roti, kapada, makaan are such a basic necessities.
I never used to understand why they call it Grass-root and not only grass but slowly realizing that one does not have to look at grass only but supposed to go to the root of it. The idealism, so called garam khoon of a lad who is just a college pass out thinks of bigger ideas like India, Bharat, garibi, corrupt bureaucracy, GDP, economy growth, almost whole system seems corrupt, inefficient. The event rate of happening seems intolerable. The educational background gives a dreamy confidence as if I have the solution of all the problems. All such macro-concepts propelled me to enter into the sector. I came with an idea to start a cooperative biodiesel plant! It is not that all this has been useless to think about. But time spent here made me realize that one has to wake and actually work to fulfill ideas. There is a huge gap between world of ideas and actualization of them for the simple seeming methods of agriculture. It demands lot of skills to successfully implement the ideas on ground. So many skills that many times I feel I, as a single individual, am unable to give complete the task. Then comes the importance of a team, members with varied background, skillsets, interests and emotional strengths.
In short a year long DAship is extremely necessary. The processes designed with various assignments, timely feedback from FG, team members helps professionals with varied educational background to attain minimum standards without hampering individuality. I feel it helps to bring in level the idealism of DAs from sociological background and grounding, sensitizing (feelings!) apparently dry practical ideas of other fields like engineering, management, agricultural. Some question why it is necessary to spend a year as an apprentice. It is necessary because unless the right frame of reference is developed however honest attempts might be, the efforts would be not be fulfilled and probably hamper the habits of community.
Reflection over process of grooming:
First phase of DAship is mostly explorative. No tasks are given; one can take the assignment according to one’s interest with the help of FG. That is the time of cultural shock. Especially in case of Pradan, unlike most of the NGO’s, graduates not only of sociological background but others are also recruited. When I ponder over my state of mind at that time, I am remembered of turmoil that I was undergoing. Its quiet challenging to shift gears. How an individual would feel, who has been brought in urban background, who was always in area where electricity is always available, who has been brought up in educational background where what matters above all is the end result; a university graduate who is expected to get a MNC job, take a four-wheeler next year and a 1BHK (one bed-room hall and kitchen) flat very next year, his middle-class parents would love to send his children to US and earn in dollars, whose other friends have got settled with their jobs and making plans to marry with longstanding girlfriend. However idealistic one may be, one has to answer these societal and self pressures.
Orientation Programme: Different way of knowledge transfer
Orientation program (OP) comprising of modules like Organisational orientation, Gender workshop, SHG workshop and village study workshop, a total 12 days program was special in its own way. I never realized in these days but now when I do membership trainings of new SHG’s I try to follow same module where the participants feel as if nobody taught me anything, I learned by discussion, from my colleagues with the topics/heads given by a fellow called facilitator. I used to wonder whats the job of this fellow called as facilitator here? In the contemporary education system, a concept of teacher is there, he is the authority, supposed to be the master of the subject. There subject used to remain within gamut of the syllabus. That approach demands replication, which impedes individuality and hence interest. The approach followed in the OP was very enjoyable in that way. I thought that time was just extension of our late night hostel chats, observed by stalwarts of developmental sector. To be honest, there was this superficial confidence, having seen life in the shell of engineering only, that engineers are the intelligent species on earth! But let me confess that I was among the pool of most interesting guys. We had good time not only in the room but outside too. Special mention of Gender, I would like to make here. Again being from non-sociological background, having never interacted with something like that, the topic raised lot of questions and uncomforts. ‘The Me’ in me was dazed. In organizational orientation we discussed on topic of Values. At that time I wondered why youngsters of 24 years old are asked to discuss on it. Whatever has to happen in terms of value addition, happened; why now? But slowly I am realizing the importance of it.
Village Study: The Best time I’ve had
In hindsight, when I think of the best period that I spent, I am remembered of one month village study in Bondri. It is so special for me probably because it anchored me; it gave me sufficient reasons to be meaningfully present here. I had my prejudices, which got polished and helped me to develop a right frame of reference. Obviously the affection showered by villagers was incredible. I interacted individually with 54 families. I realized people are same everywhere; whether it is city or village, whether they are descendants of rich or poor, whether they have large piece of land or be landless. We can’t categorise them, anything can happen what matters is the Spirit of life. I remember of meeting Patiyabai, Raimabai, Amu, Kamlesh, Imrat dada, Radhelal, Punnu. All were different in their own ways. Patiyabai was helpless in managing her large piece of land after her husband’s death. She was exploited financially by local strong people. I remember Raimabai with moist in her eyes told me one evening how is she managing her house comprising of large family and no land migration labour being the only source of livelihood. Amu sold his two bullocks in acute need 3 years ago just for Rs 5000, has been planning to take new pair since then but could not manage because of which his 3 acre land is lying underutilized making him entirely dependant on migration. Radhelal seemed like almost option less, no land, no bullocks, separated family, no proper house, ill wife, little kids. No income from land, due to family problems can’t go out so had to depend upon local labour, paying no more than Rs 30 per day; with no guarantee that tomorrow there will be work. I could not see slightest of hope in his eyes that tomorrow could be a bit better. Saten was 24 hours in the murkiness of alcohol made up of Mahua. Kamlesh, the enterprising man. He within his 30 years of life tried his hands at several occupations always learning out of something. While calculating with him I realized that Vegetable growing could earn handsome remuneration out of a small piece of land. I met L. N. Mittal aka Punnu, like him he brought buffaloes from villagers who couldn’t manage it and showed how beneficial dairy could be. Imrat dada increased his goat’s herd size from 1 to 25 and showed the profit out of Goat rearing. It put me in a question in spite of having so many successful examples of successful interventions like vegetable, dairy, goatery why don’t other people take it up. It was so frustrating for me to find out the answer. I havn’t yet got it but that’s the challenge I see ahead. How can these successful enterprises are multiplied.
After a village study, I presented it in a workshop which was followed by learning Participatory Research Appraisal (PRA) techniques in the field. When I was undergoing the workshop, I became conscious of the way we are expected to transform concepts form us to community. Later on I realized same is being followed by various training programs and team environment with DA’s. The method is hardly by way of lecture where the assimilation of concepts is always doubtful. I liked the attempts that are invested in actually implementing the participatory culture not only in community but in us as well. I like the integrity behind this spirit. Reading a book ‘Rural Development – Putting the last first’ by Robert Chambers was a poignant experience. It directed me towards my biases as an outsider. It made me cautious while dialoging and drawing conclusions from my exercises.
Second phase: Ballon is about to burst
The second phase of DAship is different from first phase. There is transformation from self-explorative to ‘Learning by Doing’. Again this transformation wasn’t smooth-sailing. I was handed over number of SHG’s and few farmers of mulberry. As part of project, I was to be involved in setting a new office, do membership training, do wheat intervention. Imagine, I know nothing about these. I expected a development worker would get engage in talking to people, knowing them, implementing new concepts without having to put in hands in boring tasks. For example: I had to talk with various vendors to purchase computer, furniture etc; had to interact with local lethargic telephone department, meet local dhabawallaha to cook food for membership training, arrange for water tanker. I am a person brought up in Mumbai who has never seen a crop in his 24 years of life. I was terrified to go to people and tell them about modified ways of wheat growing. I used to afraid of what if no seed germinates what if pest attack spoils the whole crop? How can I face people after that? This Doing was very troublesome initially. It required lot of planning, updating new skills, with continuation of personal dilemmas and family pressure. It was a very explosive state, I vividly remember. Sometimes I used to feel like running away rather than handling this pressure. Getting on to the grassroots from romanticism of development was a struggling time. I thought I will stay on pitch rather than taking any flimsy decision hurriedly. But when I received positive results out of my venture, then slowly things became enjoyable.
PAS: lifted the whistle of cooker
The Process Awareness and Sensitivity (PAS) was another interesting module happened. After that I learned to look at strengths of all around me. Now I don’t crib about others and also of my limitations. I energies myself by concentrating on my positive attributes. I make it a point to take help of others where I am weak. I am accepting myself and others without much expectation.
The Graduate: executing the projects
Now I have graduated as Executive (projects), working in a sublocation of project Kesla, Padhar. Certainly I am enjoying my stay here. I don’t know where my future holds but truly this one year has been a special for me. Personally it made me stronger, helped me to realize positive sides of mine. To which I used to romanticize as my strengths left me helpless in most demanding situations and something else came to my rescue, realizing Me in me, which is my goal. And professionally, by trial and error, I ventured into a profession which keeps me satisfied, a difficult status commonly observed. As work has taken it pace over me, I could sense the amount of work that is doable; many ideas remain untried just because there are no enough people to work. It’s a common perception out side that NGO’s need money, its true but what is more daunting than that is quality manpower, which is in scarcity. That puts me to a question why even after 24 years since inception Pradan is stuck with 250 odd professionals only?
Why outreach becomes out of reach?
When I think over this, I remember one executive said before resigning from Pradan. He said it is like a reverse drain for somebody who was brought up in urban area, having a professional degree which can make him earn a decent lifestyle, why would that person stay here with a lifestyle that demands many changes and less salary than market is offering otherwise. Maybe we are trying to create an ideal world having a real touch but not totally real. We are as if living in a shell, an organization having non-hierarchail culture, living with values like confrontation, integrity, support, and without any corruption or bureaucratic rules. Our organization does not fully obey the rules of the market, which is a stiff reality, however we romanticize it. It becomes more striking when we say professional assistance and recruit students with professional backgrounds like engineering, management or pure science. The students before joining barring an exception have very obvious ambitions like getting a good remunerative job and having good lifestyle. Absorbing a cultural shock here, adjusting oneself onto different set-up does create turmoil. One who finds her groove over this process stays and work happily. In general it is observed that people who come here and stay are majorly from middle class families. Their value system, upbringing, without a great dynastic past, zeal to prove themselves matches the raw material that is needed here. But their the catch lies, with these class comes these values and there comes the expectations from parents, relatives that this son/daughter of mine will change the course of history and bring some good dignified lifestyle to us. That’s the initial pressure that one has to bear at the entry level. I have seen my batch mates giving up on this pressure. Some amount of rebel alongwith soft negotiations are the important paraphernalia. We also have to make attempts to make them understand our work and dignity out of it.
Where are we tilted on scale of Gender balance?
We have very low number of women professionals. ( give data in terms of % )particularly for an organization, which has identified Gender and Governance as two issues that we will be working with SHG federations. By my personal experience, having women colleagues add patently different angle to our work. Girls who join are already less in numbers, whoever decides to stay have to face the acute parental pressure. There are examples of girls being taken back by parents from location. When one sees personal life in years to come issues like marriage, children’s education has to be deliberated upon. With or without having sorted these out few stays others leave.
Too many cooks yet a good food!
The peculiarity about us is that people from different academic backgrounds join here. For people from non-sociological background like engineering, agriculture, science, it is something totally that they see just out of college. As far as our core theme as Livelihoods and our non-activist approach does provide a comfort zone. We have to deal with technology may it be agriculture, poultry, tasar, mulberry, lac. All demands a sound technological knowledge to produce good results at ground. These hands on technological use for the direct benefit provide excitement to be here. On the other hand colleagues from sociological background, having got training and exposure are at a platform where issues like gender, governance, rights and entitlement are found a matter of prime interest. No doubt, both are important when clubbed together would lead to development in actual sense.
Our work demands us to be strongly equipped with the technological know-how and nitty-gritties of its implementation. That is why perhaps we are large in numbers of technocrats such as engineers, agriculturist or veterinarians. It is expected that we do the implementation taking care of the process by which it is done, covering both being and doing aspects. By individual different approaches, and pressure of targets doing is met but at times of acute pressures being part which is not written on paper or of which there are no benchmarks to show is compromised. Issues like Gender, governance, rights and entitlement can be exercised through SHG’s or specifically SHG federations, but there is no overall unique approach across locations about these. Whatever efforts happen are fragmented or due to lack of fool-proof system as of now are not widely reachable. That sometimes gives a very dry picture of our work. I wonder are these reasons why people from sociological background do not see themselves over a long time. One or two year that is spent here is seen as an on-job training giving additional tag in the biodata for next job. If the technocrats are not helped to realize the other moist side of development by sociologists then there is a danger of running dry on development. People from different background, both as a human being and professional competencies can give so much to each other. By my personal experience, we both need to learn different skills from each other to be complete as a development professional.
It would be interesting to know reasons of stay from people of different backgrounds. Personally speaking, it gives me joy to utilize my technical skills in choosing the best dryer that can reduce the drying time for mushroom and enhance the efficacy of final product,
Calculating the bund dimension using trigonometry, deciding the profit making package of practice of various crops in agricultural intervention, obviously with due importance to the process of technology transfer that I learned after being here. Working with SHG’s, which acts as a podium to express women, the oppressed class of the society, freely along with saving and credit activity. The strength that federation seizes in exercising one to one relationship with various government agencies also giving a spirit of unity among thousands of women members. Indulging in both technological (doing) and process parts (being) of our work gives a feeling of completeness. Each is enjoyable in its own way.
Swimming against the flow
Again coming back to original question, should we be comfortable that it’s very natural that people will come and leave as they have their own problems and reasons. Should we be comfortable with this almost constant number over number of years? I can be impractical in my analysis considering the limited time spent here, but when I muse over the attrition rate in the organization, there are two factors I realize strikingly. Monetary gains and societal pressure both are acting in our opposite direction.
Monetary gains are low than the open market offers considering the kind of professional degree that I have. I am playing different roles. I am somebody’s son, brother, grandson, husband, father, friend. Those roles demands deeds from me. I may not want to have a vehicle or own a house, other material gains. What if tomorrow serious illness strikes in the family, do I have sufficient resources to combat the incident. Any of these demands from anybody who is my close ally bothers me. I wonder why we can’t get good marketable salaries. That would atleast dampen these pressurizing factors and we can work without much worry. It would also give good status in society, to which it gives so much importance. I understand there is other side to this. If the salaries are increased then maybe those people would also get attracted who may not be committed towards the sector but come here just for a job, which it is not.
On larger scale there are three kinds of organization Government, private and NGO. If we compare NGO’s with the remaining in terms of gains, there is wide gap. Government jobs offer a security, prestige and pension. Private jobs pay well and offer fringe benefits. In comparison, NGO’s offers nothing from both. On other hand it demands a different lifestyle. Society looks it as something to be done after retirement. It is never seen as a vocation. Unfortunately, it is such a misfit. The expectations of a typical middle-class parents who wants to see their children ‘settle down’ with a good well earning job is not met. Marriage, increased expenses, children’s education, old-age of parents, their demands are some of the mid-life events that certainly create pressure. Society is an external environment, which is so diverse and gigantic that we could have no control over it. I am, who is academically trained as an engineer and working in this sector is either seen as a hero, a extra-ordinary person to be here or just opposite somebody who has just gone mad, unrealistic, idealistic. I am never rewarded or accepted as I am. It would be Herculean task to expect that the society would accept us, this sector with dignity or the naturalness that it deserves in near future. It would probably take centuries to see it happening.
As I am spending time, I am moving from one question to another. New challenges are emerging. Certainly a completely normal person can’t stay here, I am happy not to be one. Looking forward towards a meaningful journey. Hope differential equation of Vishal is solved with the limit of the abnormality tending towards infinity!
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